there are cracks in my bones and teethmarks on my skin from all the times we have gnawed at each other, broken each other down. bit by bit. inch by inch. a little snap here, a larger break there... and sinews unfurling hidden pain so deep that neither of us could sense it - until you called me out. i wanted to hug you but we hurled insults at one another from opposing sides of the continent instead. and so, when i reached out my hand to touch your face and cool the blazing fire between your cheeks, you were far too far to have any idea that that's what i was trying to do. 

i want to slice the sky into quadrants again and again until all that is left are tiny cubes of peace and humanity that can be passed on to every blazing heart and restless mind as offerings of hope and comfort and the gentle nod that says i feel you, i'm with you, until we all find stillness once more - if only for one fleeting moment, if only in pursuit of the smallest, gentlest shift. 

i struggle with small talk. i’m good at it, but it bores me. i don’t want to talk about the weather or stop at how’s work and how’s your mother? i want to know what your soul craves. your wildest dreams and your biggest fears. what you think about when you’re tossing and turning at 3 am, unable to sleep. i want to hear about the times you felt the most loved, the most in love. what it feels like in your body, in your heartspace when you think about the impermanence of life, about your own death. i want to delve into your craziest thoughts, the ones that make you feel scared and alone (because i promise they’re not so scary and you’re not so alone) and i want to explore the things that make you laugh from the depths of your belly, that make you chortle and snort, and the things that make you cry so hard that your body contorts and convulses into primally primitive patterns of release. it’s okay. we’ve all been there. i want to free fall into your youness and to carve out a safe space to pour, drip, spill, funnel out my essence for us both to explore until everything and nothing makes sense anymore.

I've been buzzing around working on an exciting new series and a couple of film projects, just signed with Jennifer York at DPN, and am gearing up to dive straight into TIFF exhaustion... needless to say, life is full, but I've been slacking on the blog front. I've got a list of things I'm planning on writing about once I emerge from the film festival twilight zone. 

Until then lovelies!

xoxo,

i want to stretch myself out
beneath the layers of your skin
unfurling your youness
so that i can piece together
where you’ve come from and
what you are
in relation to who i am
and how i feel